There was a dude that sounded like…. well, his name was something like the clown, and he laughed like a clown and talked like a psychopath

and he was on my team.

And he turned to me and said in the most desperate, deranged way possible, “HEAL ME. HEEEAL MEEEE.”

Of all the things I want to end a night with, allergies and a Spy saying that to me do not make the list.

JUST NO.

HOLY SHIT NO.

I’m having allergy troubles, making vidya games kinda difficult…. 

I wanna stream, but I don’t know what to draw.

IDK MAN.

ID EVEN K WHAT TO DO. WHAT SHOULD I DO.

SOMEONE DIRECT ME.

Team full of Demos and Scouts, and we’re playing defense.

I’m fully charged, and the gates have just opened.

So I uber a Demoman, because all the Scouts were…. probably already dead and there’s a Heavy coming our way.

What does the Demoman do?

He runs.

Away.

He’s ubered and he runs away.

Okay, maybe he just turned around and didn’t notice the huge man running towards him….

But no.

He moves to the other gate, and that one features a pack of charging Scouts and Soldiers and Pyros or whatever.

Same thing.

The same damn thing happens.

The Demoman runs away.

Bulletproof and he runs the fuck away.

WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU.